Rich single women
don’t get a lot of compassion from the rest of the world for their feelings or problems. There is an unspoken assumption that if you have money, you can buy anything… including love. Wealthy women may get a lot of pandering, needy, or superficial people trying to manipulate favors out of them. But finding peers who are capable of understanding their personal day-to-day struggles is a challenge. And finding someone to love can be even trickier.
How is that relevant to the rest of us? Because everyone has complications or dilemmas to consider when they are looking for that special partner. Very often, people think that if they had all the money in the world, their problems would disappear. Obviously, many of their troubles would lessen, but when it comes to meeting a mate, if you were very wealthy…a new set of obstacles would emerge. Finding your soul mate is daunting—for everyone.
A few years ago, a very wealthy woman came to coaching. When she first appeared, I would have described her as the “Saturday Night Live” version of Library Lady. Practical shoes, baggy clothes and no makeup, she was in her fifties and had been divorced for decades. Her known wealth and family name constantly attracted opportunists and contributed to her guarded, shy nature. (Hmmm, I thought…no one said my job was going to be easy.)
I’m going to start with the end, which is, she found her True Love! How did she sidestep the users, develop her radar detector for the good guys, and find the one for her?
NUMBER ONE: Coaching
She might have been dowdy, reclusive, and sitting at home alone for years, but…she wasn’t stupid. She hired a coach. She knew that if she was ever going to get a different result, plus not be vulnerable to people taking advantage of her, she needed guidance.
NUMBER TWO: Presentation
She polished her “look.” Looking good is all about FEELING good about how you look. She went from a ho-hum dressing style, a hum-drum description of who she was, and a no-hum dating life… to a WOW! She had educational degrees she never talked about, years of living abroad no one had heard of, and some interesting life experiences she never shared. When she began to open up and let people know who she was, everyone was charmed.
The baggy clothes hid a well-toned figure (she worked out every day, which was a BIG plus); the muted colors she wore never highlighted her gorgeous green eyes; and her tamped down personality kept her smile and sparkle
a secret from the rest of the world. What a thrill to watch this beautiful bird unlock herself and fly from her cage. When you’re not afraid to speak up about yourself, and you look and feel your best…you aren’t prone to fall for FALSE flattery. You start to know the real deal from the fakers.
NUMBER THREE: Willing
This is the area where this lady really stepped up to the plate: she was willing to learn. And no matter how far out of her comfort zone she was nudged, she still tried her best. She asked questions, took notes, practiced what she learned, read new books, and took actions she never thought she could—or would—do. She was WILLING to do whatever it took.
NUMBER FOUR: Enrolling others
At first she balked…but then she understood: if you want something, you have to enroll others in helping you get it. After she got over the idea that it would be embarrassing, she learned how to tell people she would like to meet a wonderful man. This important action shifted her whole world. Suddenly, she had an army of people she could trust who were out looking for a great guy for her. She had never realized people wanted to help her…but that she had to ASK them. Being introduced to someone cuts through a lot of time and red tape in getting to know them.
NUMBER FIVE: Online dating
When she joined several online dating sites, she carefully worded her friendly sounding Bio which she posted with several good pictures
. (If you’re serious about wanting a lasting relationship, then make sure there are no sexual innuendoes in your profile.) Since 90% of men will not read a Bio unless there is a photograph attached, she had a photographer take hundreds of pictures so she could pick several good ones. She had some interesting dates from this adventure, which honed her social skills. She learned that she could hold her own in any situation.
This wealthy lady grew in confidence, dating savvy and self-awareness. This armed her with the protection she needed to not be taken in by a fortune hunter. Eventually, someone introduced her to a wonderful guy…and the rest is a love story. I’m happy to report, she’s living happily-ever-after. It could happen to you.